I am a survivor. When I was young, I couldn’t talk about my brother molesting me. I didn’t have the words inside and I didn’t have anyone encouraging me to find them. Even when it wasn’t a secret anymore, I was alone with it, surrounded by silence. It’s taken more than 25 years but I am finding the words to speak out.
Healing begins with telling the story of abuse. It’s helped me move away from being a victim, where I was terrified, alone and filled with thoughts and emotions I couldn’t understand or control. As I’ve found the words to tell my story I’ve moved into being a survivor where I can start making fragile connections with other people, and begin to identify my feelings, where they come from and how to move past them. I hope someday it will help me move to being alive, where I can tell my story to help others and draw strength from my past to stand before my fears face first and know I can choose.
We are not born with words; we must learn them. Children who are abused, like myself, need help learning these words to tell others what they’ve been through in order to begin their healing. I can’t teach them those words but if I can help those that can, it’s worth going over the edge.